000 'Dear Arietta,
001 If you ask me whether I like Torta or not, I'll be honest with you.
002 I like Torta as well.
003 This is the truth. And I can't change that.
004 You told me you'd already noticed this, but I myself only realized just recently.
005 I can add as many words as I want, but they'll only end up feeling hollow anyway, so I'll keep it short today.
006 I'm sorry for sending you this kind of letter.
007 I know I'm doing terrible things to both you and Tortinita.
008 But I didn't want to lie to you.
009 Let me write you one more thing.
010 I know you told me not to write anything but the answer to your question, but I just had to.
011 I like you, Ari.
012 I truly do.
013 I know that this is nothing short of proof that I'm being unfaithful to you, but I just had to say it.
014 I'm really sorry.
015 Chris'
016 I repeatedly read the letter for a long, long time.
017 It was only a short letter, but I read it again - and again.
018 Chris likely wrote such a letter not out of unfaithfulness, but exactly because he was being faithful to Ari.
019 And what a cruel thing it was.
020 Dear kind, and cruel Chris.
021 If only you had plainly written you liked Tortinita, I would have gladly sacrificed everything I had for you.
022 If only you had plainly written you liked Arietta, I would likely have gladly sacrificed everything I had for you and Ari.
023 However, you chose to do neither, and to write down the truth instead.
024 I realize that this is how you truly feel.
025 But... Only one sentence would have been enough.
026 You should have just lied to me, like I am constantly doing to you.
027 How would Ari answer a letter like this?
028 What would Sis do at a time like this?
029 [Ari]
030 "Torta. You should handle it in whatever way suits you best."
031 Sis was smiling gently inside the mirror.
032 [Torta]
033 "... So damn stupid,"
034 I muttered, and averted my eyes from the mirror.
035 ... But Ari really would say something like that to me.
036 'I am no longer in the picture.'
037 'Torta... Please take care of Chris for me.'
038 Would she smile sweetly and tell me that?
039 Or would she get upset, and yell at me that she wouldn't hand him over?
040 [Torta]
041 "... Haha... Ahahaha..."
042 This was ridiculous.
043 Laughable.
044 What the heck was I thinking?
045 Ari wouldn't answer.
046 She was incapable of answering.
047 It was all just a convenient illusion.
048 'Take care of Chris for me'?
049 A delusion I created just because I wanted him for myself.
050 Yell at me?
051 Another delusion I created just because I wanted to be forgiven.
052 Ari wouldn't say anything.
053 Sis was incapable of saying anything.
054 She was in a coma, in a bed, in a hospital.
055 That was reality, and that was all there was to it.
056 And nothing more.
057 Then what was I to do?
058 [Torta]
059 "I should just take Chris for myself."
060 Certainly, Chris liked me too.
061 I should just write this in the letter:
062 'Torta is always with you.'
063 'I can no longer be by your side.'
064 If I wrote a break-up letter, then told Chris I liked him once again, then he would surely be mine.
065 ---I just had to admit it.
066 Admit what a wretched woman I really was,
067 and take him for myself.
068 And so I would take my greatest love, in the worst possible way imaginable.
069 I would likely never look into the mirror again.
070 I was walking down the alleys carrying the letter, as usual.
071 The letter - with 'express' written on it in red ink - would arrive at my family home tomorrow, and be immediately sent back by regular mail.
072 Chris would read it on Sunday.
073 What kind of face would he be making as he read this letter?
074 ... And what would come of it?
075 There was no way I could know.
076 It was all just wishful thinking on my part.
077 Through so many lies, so many cruelties, I sought a love I wasn't even sure I could obtain.
078 ---As I dragged myself ahead while lost in such thoughts, I finally arrived in front of the mailbox.
079 Now I just had to insert the letter in here.
080 Just insert it.
081 I raised the hand with which I was holding the letter, and then lowered it again.
082 How long had I been standing here since then?
083 The sun was starting to set, and it was past the collection time for this mailbox.
084 The mailman must have been late for some reason, but whether that was a blessing or a curse, I didn't know.
085 ... I had already inserted the letter into the mailbox.
086 And now I was lost.
087 It had taken me an hour just to put it in in the first place.
088 And now I was thinking of telling the mailman I'd accidentally inserted the letter and that I wanted it back.
089 I even pondered silly things like sliding my hand through the slot and taking it out right away.
090 ---In the end, I was still lost.
091 I was scorning myself for being a wretched human being, justifying my actions as if there had been no other way, and then pretending to be a good person again.
092 [Chris]
093 "... Torta?"
094 ... I couldn't bring myself to turn around to the source of that voice.
095 [Chris]
096 "... Torta."
097 [Torta]
098 "... Chris..."
099 The second time I was called, I finally raised my head.
100 [Chris]
101 "H-Hey. Good timing. You forgot your score."
102 [Torta]
103 "... I see."
104 He... probably hadn't seen me.
105 If he had been watching when I sent the letter, he wouldn't have waited this long before calling out to me.
106 Chris would have immediately walked up to me.
107 [Chris]
108 "Shall we move to the side a bit? They'd get wet if I handed them over here."
109 [Torta]
110 "Okay... Sure."
111 Right.
112 He would've done so because of the rain.
113 [Chris]
114 "... Did you post a letter?"
115 There was a trace of fear in his voice.
116 [Torta]
117 "... Yeah."
118 [Chris]
119 "To whom?"
120 [Torta]
121 "..."
122 [Chris]
123 "Mind if I make a guess?"
124 Chris continued in a shaky voice.
125 It wasn't hard to guess what he was going to say next, but I waited for it nevertheless.
126 [Chris]
127 "To Ari, right?"
128 [Torta]
129 "... Yeah."
130 'What did you write?'
131 You shouldn't ask me that.
132 I would have to make up a terrible lie again.
133 [Chris]
134 "Can I ask what you wrote her?"
135 [Torta]
136 "... Chris..."
137 ... I beg of you...
138 [Chris]
139 "Forget I asked. ... By the way, are you finished with your business for today?"
140 [Torta]
141 "... I didn't have any, to tell you the truth."
142 [Chris]
143 "Did you take the day off?"
144 [Torta]
145 "... That's right."
146 [Chris]
147 "And so... you've been writing a letter."
148 I nodded silently.
149 The world wasn't kind enough for it to be settled with that.
150 People weren't that foolish.
151 And that was why Chris quietly waited for me.
152 Waited for me to lie to him.
153 [Torta]
154 "I... got a letter from Ari."
155 [Chris]
156 "... On Sunday?"
157 [Torta]
158 "... Yeah. So, she asked me."
159 [Chris]
160 "Asked you what?"
161 [Torta]
162 "... Whether I liked you or not."
163 [Chris]
164 "... And now, you sent her your reply?"
165 [Torta]
166 "I... sent her a reply Monday, but... I needed to revise it. I just sent a new letter."
167 Sis.
168 Chris.
169 Please forgive me.
170 [Chris]
171 "Revise... In what way?"
172 Please. Forgive me.
173 [Torta]
174 "At first, I wrote that I hate you. That I don't like you at all. ... But..."
175 [Torta]
176 "But I do like you... I honestly do like you. So - I wrote Ari a new letter."
177 And I cried. I cried my heart out.
178 Was it guilt, or was it regret?
179 Was it grief, or was it delight?
180 I might not be forgiven for this.
181 But the lies kept flowing forth from my mouth, and I had no way of stopping it.
182 And then suddenly, Chris embraced me.
183 [Torta]
184 "... Chris..."
185 Just whispering his name filled me with happiness and sorrow.
186 How I wished for time to stop at this moment.
187 I wouldn't mind if I died right now.
188 Not because I was happy.
189 But because I knew I could not become happy in the future.
190 [Torta]
191 "... I'm doing terrible things to you. I'm sorry."
192 My apologies to Chris would not reach his ears.
193 He would surely interpret them differently.
194 He would think they were apologies to Ari.
195 [Torta]
196 "I'm so sorry."
197 [Chris]
198 "... Torta..."
199 Chris called my name, and strengthened his embrace.
200 And then---
201 I gazed at the mailbox.
202 As I watched the letter being collected by the mailman from a side-glance, I raised my arms.
203 I wrapped my trembling arms around Chris' shoulders.
204 We stood there embracing each other, not exchanging a word.
205 [Torta]
206 "We have practice again tomorrow."
207 [Torta]
208 "It would be terrible if we were to catch a cold."
209 Those had been my final words before we parted.
210 Chris hadn't said anything in return.
211 t27